How to Attract Asian Women: an Asian Woman Reveals it all Ming Tan ISBN 0971580804 $29.95 172 pages How to Attract Asian Women Excerpt Chapter 13 How to Act on a First Date With an Asian Woman You must be on your best behavior on the first date. Some pointers: · Do not talk about your ex-girlfriends, especially Asian ex-girlfriends if you are a non-Asian guy · If you are an Asian guy, don't talk about your white ex-girlfriends. Asian girls generally think that Asian guys who bring up their white ex-girlfriends in conversation are bragging. Just don't talk about ex-girlfriends! · Do not smoke · Be yourself · Do not concentrate too much on her Asian ethnicity · Do not call Asians by the term "Orientals" · Do not put down Asian men · Do not talk about sex · Pay attention to her, and do not look around the room for other women · Pay for the date and do not talk about money · Be fun, relaxed, and happy Nowadays, men are more and more confused about dating etiquette. Should he open the doors, or wait for the lady to exit the elevator first? Some men are so puzzled by what to do in certain social situations that they instead become awkward and thus risk the chance of having the lady think he doesn't have any manners at all. Unless your date has told you that she is an ultra-modern woman who is extremely independent and believes in equality between men and women, 50/50 all the way, assume that she would like to be treated like a lady, the old-fashioned way. This means that you are to wait for her to get out of an elevator first (I cannot believe how many men do not follow this important rule of etiquette!), hold doors open for her, pay for dinner and behave like a gentleman. You must arrive on time. Lots of Asian ladies have reported getting turned off after a guy shows up late for a date. You do not want to spoil your chances of dating an Asian lady by being late, so always give yourself plenty of time for travel. Better to arrive early than to make your Asian woman wait! If you are meeting your date in person for the first time after emailing or chatting over the Internet, then she probably does not want you to know where she lives until she gets to knows you better. In such cases, you should offer to pick her up at work or at home, while expecting her to say that she will meet you in a public place. Understand that this might be for her own safety and not because she doesn't like you. If you met through friends or have known each other for some time in other situations, she would probably expect you to pick her up at her home or office--even if you do not have a car. This is something guys in metropolitan areas such as New York City have to watch out for, since many guys in New York don't own automobiles. Picking up your date just makes her feel more special. If a man is doing the driving, he should open the door for the lady when they get to the car and also when they arrive at their destination. It may seem awkward to you at first, but you will be thought of as a gentleman. Remember, respect is very important in Asian cultures. WARNING: For Americanized Asian-Americans, too much of this might seem patronizing or too cavalier. During the date, remember that she is just as nervous as you are. So relax and concentrate on being yourself and on having a good time. Don't worry about whether she likes you or not because she is probably wondering the same thing about you. A nice, polite compliment at the beginning of the date with a smile would make her warm up to you. You can compliment her on her outfit or on how wonderful she looks. Just be sure not to use any sexually suggestive compliments. For example, say: "You look lovely tonight." "You look even more beautiful than you do in your photo." And DO NOT say: "Gosh, all you Orientals are so gorgeous." "I love you sexy Asian women." "That dress shows off your beautiful behind." Take her to a nice place; it does not matter whether it is expensive or not so long as it's nice. What do I mean by "nice" and how do you figure out what's "nice" and what's not for your first date with your Asian lady? Talk to your Asian lady before the date and make your decision on where to go from your conversation. I remember being very impressed by a gentleman who decided that we would go hiking and have a picnic after having a conversation with me during which I mentioned the fact that I like the outdoors. In my experience, the most popular Asian cuisine among Asians is Japanese, so perhaps your date would like to go for some Japanese food. There are always restaurant ads in the Chinese newspapers, each touting the sushi selection in the advertised restaurant's buffets in order to attract more customers. Keep in mind that some Asian women might be shy and therefore prefer not to eat in front of strangers. If you have this suspicion, ask your Asian date if she would like to have dinner or just coffee. Or you can just decide to meet for coffee or tea, and then go to dinner if you two hit it off over a few cups at a nice café. Many Asians have alcohol dehydrogenase deficiency, which means that they lack the enzyme used to digest alcohol. According to The Merck Manual, 50% of Chinese and Japanese and other people of Asian descent lack aldehyde dehydrogenase-2, an enzyme involved in ethanol metabolism. This might result in alcohol intolerance, flushing of the face, muscle weakness, nausea, and other nasty symptoms whenever any alcohol is ingested. I am not a doctor, but I know from personal experience that I get really nauseous and weak when I ingest even a small amount of alcohol. I find it cumbersome to have to explain my alcohol intolerance to people who don't understand that this affects a large percentage of the Asian population. People make me feel like it's antisocial not to drink; little do they know it's actually physical! So now that you know this, you can impress your Asian date with your understanding of Asians and alcohol dehydrogenase deficiency. You will get extra points here because most people, except for doctors, do not know about this. Depending on the lady, she might prefer to eat Asian food, especially if she has just arrived from Asia. Ask her what she prefers to eat to make sure that she will be happy with the food. Many Asians do not like cheese or milk products due to their unfamiliarity with milk and dairy intolerance (my mother gags at the thought of cheese and doesn't eat ice cream despite having lived in the United States for over twenty years). Studies show that around 90% of Asians are lactose intolerant. Aversion to dairy products is less strong for Asians raised in the United States. One exception seems to be ice cream, which is selling well in Asian markets. Asian countries are increasingly demanding exported dairy products due to the Westernization of Asian diets, so perhaps your Asian friend is used to consuming dairy products. Some Asians take their tea very seriously and do not like the American variety, so you might impress your Asian lady by learning a bit about tea (one source you can check out is www.TenRen.com). During the date, she might not eat too much, since some Asian women are very self-conscious about their weight (I've seen lots of diet pills sold in Asian beauty salons) and she might not feel too comfortable eating in front of strangers. Also, concentrate on the ambiance, not the food, and on whether you two can talk and get to know each other better. You should be a gentleman and pay for the first date. Many Asian women have reported to me that they are accustomed to excellent treatment by their dates. Do not be cheap and insist on equality here or you might not see her again. This is one area where I insist on not being "politically correct"--you bought this book in order to learn about the things that impress an Asian woman from the point of view of an Asian woman herself; trust my advice. Sure, there might be a minority of people who disagree with me, but do yourself a favor and pay for the first date. On a date, you may show interest in Asian culture (do not mention Asian culture immediately upon meeting an Asian woman); however, do not be condescending about it. Refer to Asians as Asians and never refer to people as "Orientals." It is cute to say a few words of whatever language the lady happens to speak, since by now she would probably have told you where she is from and what languages she speaks. This will probably not apply to Americanized Asian-Americans, who often do not speak any Asian languages. Do not talk too much about yourself. Focus your attention on her. This will make her feel special and give you clues on where to take her for your next date. If you think you would like to see her again, then ask her questions regarding what she would like to do on subsequent dates. I'd suggest talking in general about museums or music, and then see what she says. If she says she loves Rodin, then you can be sure that she would like it if you asked her to go see the Rodin exhibit or something related at a museum on your next date. As a man, you should always hold open the doors and wait for your lady to walk into a room before you. Again, you might think that this is over-doing it by Western standards, but in her eyes doing such things makes you a true gentleman. At the end of the date, you should bring the lady safely to her home, or at least wait until the lady gets into a cab. If she doesn't know you very well, she may not want you to know where she lives. This is particularly true if you just had your first date after meeting on the Internet. The following applies if she does indeed know you well enough to trust you: If you want to be romantic then you need to do some extra work and spend the extra time and money to take the taxi with her back home (or driving her home), even if you think it's not likely that she'll ask you to spend the night. Walking the lady to her door would also get you on her good side. I speak both from experience and from my research. If you need examples, see the dating etiquette section of Http://www.Cupidsworld.com, where an Asian lady complains about a date who didn't wait for the bus with her. Be a gentleman during the entire evening, including at the end of the night. Do not try to push her too early into kissing or other physical activities. Try to read her by her actions toward you to determine whether she likes you enough to want to kiss you. If the girl shows signs of being attracted to you such as touching you, holding your hand, smiling, laughing, and so on, then it is safe to kiss her. Otherwise, a hug would do nicely. Also, keep in mind that it is often taboo in Asian culture to kiss in public; your Asian date might be reluctant to show any public displays of affection even if she likes you. See, for example, Virtualtourist.com (this site says that public displays of affection not welcomed in Asian cultures) and http://www.worldinformation.com/World/Asia/Japan/guide.asp?country= 081 (this site says that kissing in public is impolite in Japan). Always err on the side of being conservative and respectful. Your Asian lady would appreciate the respect you have shown her and be more receptive to your affection later on. Most of the Asian ladies I interviewed mentioned that the worst thing a man can do on a first date is to make an unwanted sexual advance. End of Chapter 13 of How to Attract Asian Women- How to Act on a First Date with an Asian Woman Order your copy today to find out how to get lots of dates with Asian women! Click on the Buy Now button right now! |
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How to Attract Asian Women: an Asian Woman Reveals it all Ming Tan ISBN 0971580804 $29.95 172 pages How to Attract Asian Women Excerpt Chapter 13 How to Act on a First Date With an Asian Woman You must be on your best behavior on the first date. Some pointers: · Do not talk about your ex-girlfriends, especially Asian ex-girlfriends if you are a non-Asian guy · If you are an Asian guy, don't talk about your white ex-girlfriends. Asian girls generally think that Asian guys who bring up their white ex-girlfriends in conversation are bragging. Just don't talk about ex-girlfriends! · Do not smoke · Be yourself · Do not concentrate too much on her Asian ethnicity · Do not call Asians by the term "Orientals" · Do not put down Asian men · Do not talk about sex · Pay attention to her, and do not look around the room for other women · Pay for the date and do not talk about money · Be fun, relaxed, and happy Nowadays, men are more and more confused about dating etiquette. Should he open the doors, or wait for the lady to exit the elevator first? Some men are so puzzled by what to do in certain social situations that they instead become awkward and thus risk the chance of having the lady think he doesn't have any manners at all. Unless your date has told you that she is an ultra-modern woman who is extremely independent and believes in equality between men and women, 50/50 all the way, assume that she would like to be treated like a lady, the old-fashioned way. This means that you are to wait for her to get out of an elevator first (I cannot believe how many men do not follow this important rule of etiquette!), hold doors open for her, pay for dinner and behave like a gentleman. You must arrive on time. Lots of Asian ladies have reported getting turned off after a guy shows up late for a date. You do not want to spoil your chances of dating an Asian lady by being late, so always give yourself plenty of time for travel. Better to arrive early than to make your Asian woman wait! If you are meeting your date in person for the first time after emailing or chatting over the Internet, then she probably does not want you to know where she lives until she gets to knows you better. In such cases, you should offer to pick her up at work or at home, while expecting her to say that she will meet you in a public place. Understand that this might be for her own safety and not because she doesn't like you. If you met through friends or have known each other for some time in other situations, she would probably expect you to pick her up at her home or office--even if you do not have a car. This is something guys in metropolitan areas such as New York City have to watch out for, since many guys in New York don't own automobiles. Picking up your date just makes her feel more special. If a man is doing the driving, he should open the door for the lady when they get to the car and also when they arrive at their destination. It may seem awkward to you at first, but you will be thought of as a gentleman. Remember, respect is very important in Asian cultures. WARNING: For Americanized Asian-Americans, too much of this might seem patronizing or too cavalier. During the date, remember that she is just as nervous as you are. So relax and concentrate on being yourself and on having a good time. Don't worry about whether she likes you or not because she is probably wondering the same thing about you. A nice, polite compliment at the beginning of the date with a smile would make her warm up to you. You can compliment her on her outfit or on how wonderful she looks. Just be sure not to use any sexually suggestive compliments. For example, say: "You look lovely tonight." "You look even more beautiful than you do in your photo." And DO NOT say: "Gosh, all you Orientals are so gorgeous." "I love you sexy Asian women." "That dress shows off your beautiful behind." Take her to a nice place; it does not matter whether it is expensive or not so long as it's nice. What do I mean by "nice" and how do you figure out what's "nice" and what's not for your first date with your Asian lady? Talk to your Asian lady before the date and make your decision on where to go from your conversation. I remember being very impressed by a gentleman who decided that we would go hiking and have a picnic after having a conversation with me during which I mentioned the fact that I like the outdoors. In my experience, the most popular Asian cuisine among Asians is Japanese, so perhaps your date would like to go for some Japanese food. There are always restaurant ads in the Chinese newspapers, each touting the sushi selection in the advertised restaurant's buffets in order to attract more customers. Keep in mind that some Asian women might be shy and therefore prefer not to eat in front of strangers. If you have this suspicion, ask your Asian date if she would like to have dinner or just coffee. Or you can just decide to meet for coffee or tea, and then go to dinner if you two hit it off over a few cups at a nice café. Many Asians have alcohol dehydrogenase deficiency, which means that they lack the enzyme used to digest alcohol. According to The Merck Manual, 50% of Chinese and Japanese and other people of Asian descent lack aldehyde dehydrogenase-2, an enzyme involved in ethanol metabolism. This might result in alcohol intolerance, flushing of the face, muscle weakness, nausea, and other nasty symptoms whenever any alcohol is ingested. I am not a doctor, but I know from personal experience that I get really nauseous and weak when I ingest even a small amount of alcohol. I find it cumbersome to have to explain my alcohol intolerance to people who don't understand that this affects a large percentage of the Asian population. People make me feel like it's antisocial not to drink; little do they know it's actually physical! So now that you know this, you can impress your Asian date with your understanding of Asians and alcohol dehydrogenase deficiency. You will get extra points here because most people, except for doctors, do not know about this. Depending on the lady, she might prefer to eat Asian food, especially if she has just arrived from Asia. Ask her what she prefers to eat to make sure that she will be happy with the food. Many Asians do not like cheese or milk products due to their unfamiliarity with milk and dairy intolerance (my mother gags at the thought of cheese and doesn't eat ice cream despite having lived in the United States for over twenty years). Studies show that around 90% of Asians are lactose intolerant. Aversion to dairy products is less strong for Asians raised in the United States. One exception seems to be ice cream, which is selling well in Asian markets. Asian countries are increasingly demanding exported dairy products due to the Westernization of Asian diets, so perhaps your Asian friend is used to consuming dairy products. Some Asians take their tea very seriously and do not like the American variety, so you might impress your Asian lady by learning a bit about tea (one source you can check out is www.TenRen.com). During the date, she might not eat too much, since some Asian women are very self-conscious about their weight (I've seen lots of diet pills sold in Asian beauty salons) and she might not feel too comfortable eating in front of strangers. Also, concentrate on the ambiance, not the food, and on whether you two can talk and get to know each other better. You should be a gentleman and pay for the first date. Many Asian women have reported to me that they are accustomed to excellent treatment by their dates. Do not be cheap and insist on equality here or you might not see her again. This is one area where I insist on not being "politically correct"--you bought this book in order to learn about the things that impress an Asian woman from the point of view of an Asian woman herself; trust my advice. Sure, there might be a minority of people who disagree with me, but do yourself a favor and pay for the first date. On a date, you may show interest in Asian culture (do not mention Asian culture immediately upon meeting an Asian woman); however, do not be condescending about it. Refer to Asians as Asians and never refer to people as "Orientals." It is cute to say a few words of whatever language the lady happens to speak, since by now she would probably have told you where she is from and what languages she speaks. This will probably not apply to Americanized Asian-Americans, who often do not speak any Asian languages. Do not talk too much about yourself. Focus your attention on her. This will make her feel special and give you clues on where to take her for your next date. If you think you would like to see her again, then ask her questions regarding what she would like to do on subsequent dates. I'd suggest talking in general about museums or music, and then see what she says. If she says she loves Rodin, then you can be sure that she would like it if you asked her to go see the Rodin exhibit or something related at a museum on your next date. As a man, you should always hold open the doors and wait for your lady to walk into a room before you. Again, you might think that this is over-doing it by Western standards, but in her eyes doing such things makes you a true gentleman. At the end of the date, you should bring the lady safely to her home, or at least wait until the lady gets into a cab. If she doesn't know you very well, she may not want you to know where she lives. This is particularly true if you just had your first date after meeting on the Internet. The following applies if she does indeed know you well enough to trust you: If you want to be romantic then you need to do some extra work and spend the extra time and money to take the taxi with her back home (or driving her home), even if you think it's not likely that she'll ask you to spend the night. Walking the lady to her door would also get you on her good side. I speak both from experience and from my research. If you need examples, see the dating etiquette section of Http://www.Cupidsworld.com, where an Asian lady complains about a date who didn't wait for the bus with her. Be a gentleman during the entire evening, including at the end of the night. Do not try to push her too early into kissing or other physical activities. Try to read her by her actions toward you to determine whether she likes you enough to want to kiss you. If the girl shows signs of being attracted to you such as touching you, holding your hand, smiling, laughing, and so on, then it is safe to kiss her. Otherwise, a hug would do nicely. Also, keep in mind that it is often taboo in Asian culture to kiss in public; your Asian date might be reluctant to show any public displays of affection even if she likes you. See, for example, Virtualtourist.com (this site says that public displays of affection not welcomed in Asian cultures) and http://www.worldinformation.com/World/Asia/Japan/guide.asp?country= 081 (this site says that kissing in public is impolite in Japan). Always err on the side of being conservative and respectful. Your Asian lady would appreciate the respect you have shown her and be more receptive to your affection later on. Most of the Asian ladies I interviewed mentioned that the worst thing a man can do on a first date is to make an unwanted sexual advance. End of Chapter 13 of How to Attract Asian Women- How to Act on a First Date with an Asian Woman Order your copy today to find out how to get lots of dates with Asian women! Click on the Buy Now button right now! |
